How to recognise the signs of mental and emotional abuse!

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Any form of abuse is apparent through a person’s actions, words or behaviour. But often we tend to miss out on noticing them when we are into the midst of it.

Be it a relationship, a bond with special someone or just a friend – If there is mental or emotional abuse the signs of it shall be seen quite clear. What one needs is to recognise them and understand that it’s not okay!

Here is how you can recognise signs of mental and emotional abuse. Because no matter who – one does not deserve to be abused!

  1.    You are humiliated continuously or negated!

One of the most prominent signs of mental/emotional abuse is to be feeling negated. Being called by demeaning names, yelled at, embarrassed at public, talked to with sarcasm and belittling of the thing you do – all are the signs. When there is constant joking of you or disrespect to your point of view – know that you are being abused!

  1.    Controlling

Mental and emotional abuse by other person is often done to control your life. Usually partners of the person abusing tries to gain control of everything you do. It includes checking your phone, knowing your bank statements, your whereabouts, ordering on daily things, cutting other people off, making you socially unavailable, giving orders about what you should do etc. If your decisions are taken by them, and you feel compelled to live by it – it is mental and emotional abuse!

  1.    Apologizing even when you aren’t wrong!

Feeling stupid, guilty of doing something that others usually do, appearing selfish and always apologising to your partner after a fight – they all are signs that you are steadily being accused of being wrong! You are made to believe that you are at guilt, selfish and should be apologising to keep the relation alive. This form of mental abuse and emotional trauma keeps on repeating itself.

  1.    Their cold behaviour makes you question yourself!

Usually, you find yourself continually monitoring your partner’s mood. If it’s good, you think you have been good. And if they show cold behaviour, you immediately start finding the mistakes you must have done to piss them off. You try to know your mistake and make efforts to get back into the right books. You turn into a pleaser for your partner.

  1.    Withholding money, affection or sex as punishment

An abuser always makes use of their power of affection, money or sex as the driving factor of punishing you. If there has been a fight or you start disobeying them – they withhold all of it to abandon your needs. This punishment makes you cringe for them while making them feel empowered to control you. You get all of it only when you best obey them and be in their control.

  1.    Your partner decides for you!

Be it your career, your holiday or an evening to relax – your partner decides what you should be doing! They take all the important decisions while you are left to act on it. And if you choose to do something else you end up pissing them off. There arrives the vicious cycle of abandonment, punishment, apologising and back on track with the decision made by your partner again. This is completely mental and emotional abuse!

  1.    You lose affection towards your partner

The constant negating, abusing, humiliation slowly drains out the feelings of love and warmth out of the heart. All you are living with is a feeling of need for the person. Women tend to lose the physical attraction and sexual desire too. As there is no more trust or emotional connection left, women tend to resort back to their cocoon and stop opening to their partners.

  1.    You always have something to say but choose to stay quiet!

Every time your partner changes your plan or takes a decision for you – there is an urge to rebel and ask for your idea of strategy to be executed. But you shun yourself and continue pleasing your partner to obey them. You are somewhere afraid of their bad mood, anger or the idea of having different views. They are mentally and emotionally abusing you!

It shall take time to understand the mental or emotional abuse when you are into it. But once you start picking up the pieces – begin breaking the patterns and claim your freedom!

Take out time to relax, book a few spa sessions with and consult your friend to understand it completely! Don’t be sorry for having a choice, desires or to live your life your way!

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